Christmas Very Much

kateyxmas

I’ve been giving Christmas a fair chance.  No one can say I haven’t.  The mantle is decorated with the sequinned balls in clear glass goblets.  The tree is piney, with icicles and red feathered birds.  A choir of penguins in red scarves are poised on the bookshelf, waiting for a wooly German Santa to conduct them in a carol.  All along, I’ve been planning to spend Christmas morning making pictures with my Christmas gee-gaws and enjoying a world that is invisible to me unless I am looking through a lens.

Above, however, you do not see any of the jolly, clever, Kitsch-massy photos I took this morning, and expected to add to the blog tonight. Instead, the news is Katey.  Tonight I learned through the opaque signals and vagaries of texts between ex-spouses that Katey girl has, unbeknownst to me, been sporting walnut sized tumors on her neck for 10 days now, and “isn’t doing very well.”

I can’t even begin to write about my visit with Katey; my tiredness and emotion are still too tangled up with the warm living talcum of her fur, and the sweetly rotted odor from her jowls, both lingering on my hands.  It isn’t our last visit, yet; of course, I was crying. But Katey, I meant what I whispered in your radar ears while you pretended you were asleep so I would keep scratching them – “Oh, we had FUN!

Christmas Scene Through the Window

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Home waits across the River, beyond the Battlefield of Snowballs, past the Covered Bridge and Skating Pond.  Home, where a Tree stands sentinel, dressed in solitary green, its lights brightening against the night’s darkest skies.  See the candles in the windows? Here, take Mamma’s hand, take Daddy’s hand, we are almost there.

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Christmas Presence Past

circa 1979

circa 1979

How many hours did I lie on the long couch in Pat Read’s home on Christmas night, turning over in my mind the riddle of the bubbling lights on the Christmas tree, their little columns of glass and red liquid poking up here and there among the green boughs, singing with tiny circles of air which rose again and again from nowhere, an infinite procession as hypnotic as the reflections of taillights and headlights rolling rhythmically across the cold backseat windows as we rode in the dark of Christmas Eve, mile after mile, until the slippery red and white beads of light finally chased my thoughts away, and I slept wedged between the hard door handle and my sister’s shoulder, awakening at last to stumble drowsily from the snowy driveway into Aunt Patty’s bright kitchen, in Christmastime, Indiana, where all these faces waited just for me.

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