It feels every bit as ridiculous and wanton as you might imagine – lying on ground, shifting my head against a drapery of creamy purple bells, raising the view finder to see if my crown of lilacs has appeared. But the stakes are high. Either I infuse my lungs and mind with essence of lilac when I can, or lose my chance. So, I do what the lilacs tell me, and let them have their fragrant say. I may look a little silly wearing a crown of lilacs, but maybe that was the lilac’s delight: to bring me down to earth, tickle my scalp with petals, and fill my eyes with magical, real life play.
“It’s written in my heart, so that everybody can see it.”
All the heart-words I collected formed themselves into something different than I envisioned. And that is the outcome of a heart exercise – to discover more than you imagined, to reveal what is simpler than it seemed, and to recognize for just a moment: so far, so good.
He told me once, “Making things is an addiction.” (He probably punctuated this pronouncement with “Baby,” but it looks so cheesy typed out, you know, not sweet, and pricelessly tender the way it sounded when you heard him say it.) He was definitely encouraging me at the time, to give in and create.
Here he is lighting some metal on fire. He looks so happy, don’t you think?
I do believe it is the wish of every heart to be happy. It is a measure of the awesome power of this wish that we will burn up our lives with fear and anger to avoid admitting to ourselves this simple desire. Somehow our wires get crossed, and we come to believe that our bitterness will cure us of our fear, and somehow that will bring us closer to fulfilling our hearts’ desire. The curious thing is, the wish to be happy itself is enough to dissolve the barbs and splinters that catch on our tenderest feelings. Despite everything we have been through, this part of ourselves remains intact, and glows with love: to wish ourselves happiness is the simplest blessing of all.