Butterfly of London – Butterfly 28 Collaborated

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butterfly of london
here am i
the circus streets
i had to try
never in my dreamland
was it as real as feels
now i’m home

here’s the Victoria Albert
the Kings Road is right at my door
i walk to the Mews of the Queen Mum
you just can’t know
what it means
to adore

a place i can never
really belong
the one place i finally
hear my heart’s song
i’m sorry i had to go so far away
to be me
but i did.

(more or less to lullaby of birdland)

This work composed on a base photograph by the absolutely superb Evelyn Hoefer, appearing in her collaboration with V.S. Pritchett, London Perceived, which found me through the magical power the Sequoya Branch Library Book Sale, answering my prayer for a photographic record capturing the London I believe my mother dreamed of finding. Note that the 1962 NYT review I have linked to here is by Philip Toynbee, for crying out loud.

Meant to Be Butterfly – Butterflies 25, 26, 27 & 28

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I hardly even had to ask.  All I had to say was, ” I do this butterfly thing on my blog…”  and Bobbie put the butterfly in her hair.  Sherri wore the perfect backdrop to showcase brilliant glittering wings.  Leslee gave her butterfly a deep blue sky and paisley clouds.  That was last week.

“I brought this butterfly my daughter made.”  Leslee casually mentioned when I saw her today at our stitching date.  Holding a red and yellow construction paper treasure out to me, her face shone with playful pride and delight.  “I want it back.”  I nod mutely, a little awed by her generosity and trust.  I don’t often get to make a picture with something so powerful.  “I can use my phone,” I say.  “We’ll do it just like before, by the window, before we go.”

We have to pull out both self-storing leaves of the vintage teak table for everyone to find a place to sit, and still, there isn’t enough room for all our stuff.  I keep my kit of colored pencils, glue and doilies under my chair with my London Fog purse in red fake patent alligator.  I sit next to Maureen, and we talk about her father.  He died four years ago, today.  The anniversary of her mom’s death was just 2 weeks ago.  “There’s a lot of death in March,”  she says.  I nod.  “My mom’s is coming up on Saturday.”  “Oh,” she replies softly.  It’s b’shert – meant to be – that we should choose these particular chairs today.

Maureen is embroidering a small landscape of one their favorite places, where she and her father had happy times.  She painted the lake, trees and shore line with water color, to deepen the tone of her colorful threads.  “It’s like those memento mori embroideries on silk,”  I point out.  “They were painted and embroidered too.”  She hadn’t thought of that before.  It’s reassuring to discover that, without realizing it, you are comforting yourself in the same exact way other women did, long long ago.  Everyone at the table is working on some similar project, channeling stories of love and loss into stitched loops and dashes, like a binary code of personal history.

There’s no pretending here.  Some of the people we need most are gone.  Around this table, it’s ok to talk about them, as long as you are doing something with your hands.

butterfly français – butterfly 24

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high above the tuillerie
float the butterfly and me
along the champs elysee we
alight amidst the ancient trees
the arch de triomph monument
to human effort so misspent
a shadow of the past presents
escaping through your grasp like sand
while on your shoulder beauty lands
for we on puffs of air are free
to play and live eternally
the butterfly francais and me.

dictated by mom.  it made me cry as she told it to me.  i think that she is happy.  that is all i ever wanted.

Guest Butterfly – Butterflies 11, 12 & 13

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Images by Amy Hoeffel, Guest Butterfly

A butterfly of friendly creations turned up.  Artist Amy Hoeffel accepted my invitation to imagine butterflies, through her unique photographic eye and approach.  Using old school film techniques, Amy layers multiple exposures and special developing processes to achieve images of spontaneous, improvised beauty.

Amy has given the butterfly in me a warm reception on many occasions.  It was her generosity that gave me the courage to show some images last fall, by joining her in a gallery space for the Riverwest Art Walk – an experience I am still learning from.

Thank you, Amy and my  butterfly dears, for bringing your eyes to the butterflies!