Do you really think she wasn’t betrayed? Because I think she was. And maybe it seems as if it would have served her better to forgive, but maybe when you can already see that the future has disappeared, you cling to whatever you feel you have left because it reminds you that you still are someone you recognize. I have lost things that I didn’t mean to lose, didn’t even know I even could lose, through no fault of my own, that have altered my life irredeemably; and right or wrong, she saw it that way. She was a sweet person, who tried unceasingly to make a life she imagined would be good for herself and the people she loved. And if she loved us in ways that were flawed – even grotesquely so – there is no changing that she just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see what was coming, the way maybe some of us can.
Oh Brenna, I do LOVE this photograph of Barbara! I remember the way her deep brown eyes would light up so when we three would sit for tea. I feel so honored to have been invited for numerous teas with you and your mum last winter. I will always
think fondly of ‘we three having tea’. Tonight I shall pour an extra cup in her honor but I think I only have Celestial Seasonings.
I LOVE you BOTH!!!