Occasionally it becomes obvious to me that I have no idea where I am. Are my intentions as honest as I tell myself, or are they yet another layer distracting me from something I don’t want to say or know about myself?
It seems I like the obstacles. White puffs drifting between the tree tops entice my heart upward more than empty blue sky. Murky water reports the twists of light and dark with tantalizing clarity. Uncertain which way to look, I see what I think is there and then, fearing failure, look elsewhere.
Eventually I get tired of wondering what it means, how I’ve said and done things. I open the porch door. The breeze gets a hold of the curtains, puffing them inward, and outward. The house is breathing. Birds and traffic call and respond. With the door open, sunlight is reaching all the way to the floor, and spreading inward across the golden wood. The light is very, very beautiful.