Yesterday, I couldn’t choose between going to see the lilacs, or visiting the Rosey Tree.  At first, I drove out to Rosey Tree, pulling up against the curb where Farm and Fleet’s driveway t-bones into the wild, neglected parcel she shares with huge arbor vitae, 2 enormous ash trees and an abandoned orchard.  I sat in the car, waiting to get out – but I didn’t.  Rosey Tree is maybe 50 paces from the driveway, through long grass and broken asphalt – but it is a long walk to a surprisingly isolated place.  It scares me to go there alone.

I watched a blue bird skimming from the giant ash tree to the scrub and back, muscling against a gusting wind that lay the grasses almost flat.  There were people nearby – a dozen cars passed me while I debated with my fear.  But taking pictures is an activity that isn’t compatible with cautious awareness.  I can’t help it. After the last 6 months, I just want safety.

After about 10 minutes admiring Rosey Tree from afar, I turned and headed toward the lilacs.  I decided I can’t let Rosey Tree haunt me.  If I feel ok being there, I’ll go back.  I loved seeing the bluebird though.  And the lilacs are beyond belief.