To begin with – even with the big camera, I hardly ever have any idea whether I have made an image or not. And now with only my phone to work with, my uncertainty is even more conclusive. The bright lcd screen is wonderful, but it is no match for the world. Between the sun and the wind and my nearsightedness, truly – I might just as well close my eyes. Which – frankly – I sometimes do.
If I am honest, I have to admit to myself that the way I take pictures mirrors all the childish beliefs I still hold about Life, and its underlying Operating Principles. Mostly, I still think that Good Things only happen because of Magic. (This also means I believe that Bad Things happen because I am wicked, but that is a fairy tale for another day.) Meanwhile, some dear, insane part of me is clings tenaciously to an absolute faith that if I stand helpless in a Paradise of Lilacs long enough, Magic is bound to come my way.